








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 39% |
| Smokes | 561 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 536 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $393,600 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scatterman :DDD | 100% | 18 |
| #2 | NIGEL THE CAT | 100% | 20 |
| #3 | My Name Is Idiot | 96% | 27 |
| #4 | Shovel | 95% | 55 |
| #5 | Louie | 93% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fappy | 10 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Louie | 8 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | scatterman :DDD | 7 | 0.0270 |
| #4 | My Name Is Idiot | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | NIGEL THE CAT | 5 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fappy | 80 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | che | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shovel | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | scatterman :DDD | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Louie | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakub WIŚNIEWSKI | +9.17 | 99 | 53 |
| #2 | Shovel | +8.35 | 98 | 53 |
| #3 | goyim | +7.46 | 96 | 33 |
| #4 | NIGEL THE CAT | +6.23 | 95 | 25 |
| #5 | My Name Is Idiot | +5.60 | 100 | 20 |





