








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3679 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2960 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,099 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3981 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | illusion | 67% | 57 |
| #9 | Temi | 65% | 71 |
| #10 | shroud | 63% | 43 |
| #11 | Flo | 63% | 43 |
| #12 | Lith | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusion | 46 | 0.0501 |
| #2 | che =DDD | 30 | 0.0269 |
| #3 | voithia | 28 | 0.0213 |
| #4 | [PBS] Fappy | 23 | 0.0247 |
| #5 | d-_-b | 15 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusion | 204 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | voithia | 198 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | che =DDD | 188 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | [PBS] Fappy | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | shroud | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |





