








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2884 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1868 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2191 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,353,504 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jesse. | 61% | 108 |
| #8 | mairou | 59% | 189 |
| #9 | Fasupetski | 59% | 22 |
| #10 | niko#8 | 58% | 38 |
| #11 | aCKe | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirkkeli | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | LDLD | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | fili #huo † 🤏 | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | mairou | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Jesse. | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mairou | 909 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | Sirkkeli | 800 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #3 | LDLD | 525 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | fili #huo † 🤏 | 442 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | shamizi | 355 | 0.16 | 9 min |





