








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9839 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7450 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9187 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6186 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,781 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kimmo ♡ | 63% | 158 |
| #2 | niko#8 | 56% | 134 |
| #3 | shamizi | 54% | 409 |
| #4 | Portto | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | mairou | 53% | 328 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fili #huo † 🤏 | 21 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Sirkkeli | 20 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mairou | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Jesse. | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | aCKe | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirkkeli | 2237 | 0.20 | 74 min |
| #2 | shamizi | 1423 | 0.17 | 39 min |
| #3 | mairou | 1279 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #4 | fili #huo † 🤏 | 1105 | 0.08 | 30 min |
| #5 | aCKe | 902 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDLD | +2.03 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Sirkkeli | +0.50 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | shamizi | +0.09 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | fili #huo † 🤏 | +0.09 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Portto | +0.01 | 73 | 69 |





