








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8547 | 19% |
| Smokes | 13878 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 11651 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 10423 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,556,174 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sirkkeli | 52% | 970 |
| #8 | niko#8 | 52% | 289 |
| #9 | shamizi | 51% | 707 |
| #10 | aCKe | 44% | 124 |
| #11 | Fasupetski | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDLD | 44 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Sirkkeli | 39 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | mairou | 29 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jesse. | 11 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | niko#8 | 11 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirkkeli | 3862 | 0.20 | 129 min |
| #2 | shamizi | 2360 | 0.16 | 66 min |
| #3 | mairou | 2334 | 0.19 | 65 min |
| #4 | LDLD | 2034 | 0.14 | 50 min |
| #5 | kimmo ♡ | 990 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDLD | +1.31 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Sirkkeli | +0.68 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Portto | +0.49 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | fili #huo † 🤏 | +0.45 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | shamizi | +0.05 | 69 | 63 |





