








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3664 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3728 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3609 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3374 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,480 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antiex | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Mitsu | 55% | 158 |
| #3 | Sykotic | 54% | 168 |
| #4 | GanjaFar | 53% | 129 |
| #5 | Hawkiee | 53% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trypticon | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | GanjaFar | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mitsu | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Adarma | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Sykotic | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitsu | 1097 | 0.34 | 28 min |
| #2 | Hawkiee | 617 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Trypticon | 386 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sykotic | 357 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | GanjaFar | 177 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milked͎ | +3.26 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | Mitsu | +3.13 | 68 | 74 |
| #3 | Sykotic | +0.96 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | Hawkiee | +0.95 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Derelict | +0.20 | 54 | 67 |





