








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 659 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4166 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8038 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6894 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6238 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,583,487 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cok3 | 48% | 212 |
| #8 | ✪ LexX | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | Paizuri | 44% | 45 |
| #10 | Er3mit | 44% | 45 |
| #11 | qixL ♥ | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl1ppy | +3.25 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Er3mit | +1.69 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | +1.28 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | qixL ♥ | +1.02 | 84 | 57 |
| #5 | BETONMISCHA | +0.63 | 70 | 61 |





