










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4970 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3901 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5145 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5050 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,105,704 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vuvux | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Niul8 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Shutterbugg | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | klickarn | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vuvux | 854 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Niul8 | 624 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 245 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | xxxxposed | 237 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | $ashQuatchMay | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |





