










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 437 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5839 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4563 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4360 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,082 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shutterbugg | 47% | 70 |
| #2 | xxxxposed | 43% | 100 |
| #3 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 41% | 137 |
| #4 | Niul8 | 39% | 271 |
| #5 | Fjette | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krusteeeee | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Niul8 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Shutterbugg | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Fjette | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krusteeeee | 983 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #2 | Niul8 | 689 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | xxxxposed | 296 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Shutterbugg | 170 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | .#πΎππ πππππππππππ^ | 164 | 0.06 | 4 min |





