








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 475 | 27% |
| Smokes | 385 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 435 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,186 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CONVICT | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | brake | 56% | 43 |
| #6 | onion man | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | WanderingWithJ | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | kuru | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brake | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | CONVICT | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | onion man | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolzy | +3.85 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | CONVICT | +3.29 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | WanderingWithJ | +1.98 | 91 | 67 |
| #4 | strAtus | +1.53 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | brake | +0.01 | 79 | 65 |





