








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1001 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2253 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2284 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2218 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,924 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaFunk | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 60% | 83 |
| #3 | Darn | 57% | 77 |
| #4 | Magill | 57% | 125 |
| #5 | smo | 56% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steveyfingers | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Magill | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Darn | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | holsee | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magill | 505 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | 281 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | holsee | 204 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Devvbot. | 187 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | krist0ph3r | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magill | +4.77 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Steveyfingers | +3.80 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | Devvbot. | +2.97 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | smo | +2.13 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | ⓃⓄⓄⒹⓁⒺⓈ | +1.19 | 72 | 65 |





