










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10278 | 39% |
| Smokes | 6098 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6633 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3240 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,732,159 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | 62% | 89 |
| #2 | JSonderchild | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | xake | 58% | 77 |
| #4 | Vochl | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | aLx | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | 62% | 89 |
| #2 | JSonderchild | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | xake | 58% | 77 |
| #4 | Vochl | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | aLx | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLx | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | BSAFE | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | xake | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLx | 673 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | xake | 214 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | BSAFE | 211 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vochl | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | JSonderchild | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | +2.53 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | JSonderchild | +1.30 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | aLx | +0.64 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | -0.06 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | xake | -0.08 | 65 | 66 |





