








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4318 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5526 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4178 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4821 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,445,298 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MENTE by Ten ツ | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | xameno ._. | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | KissenKarl | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | aLx | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | SADm | 50% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | aLx | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | SADm | 50% | 194 |
| #6 | Vochl | 49% | 243 |
| #7 | chA1nzz | 48% | 233 |
| #8 | jzN | 46% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SADm | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Vochl | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | chA1nzz | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | aLx | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | KissenKarl | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vochl | 851 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | aLx | 676 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #3 | chA1nzz | 653 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | SADm | 579 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | KissenKarl | 280 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xameno ._. | +3.88 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | jzN | +1.89 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | JSonderchild | +1.70 | 89 | 65 |
| #4 | aLx | +1.17 | 75 | 72 |
| #5 | KissenKarl | +0.89 | 73 | 70 |





