








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9749 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9310 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8509 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5291 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,110 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | 67% | 67 |
| #2 | KissenKarl | 62% | 89 |
| #3 | brundle q:) | 60% | 87 |
| #4 | uLtimat0r | 59% | 110 |
| #5 | sedi `8) | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xake | 1053 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | KissenKarl | 446 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | brundle q:) | 322 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | stuNt ,('U'), | 315 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | uLtimat0r | 307 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | +2.97 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | sedi `8) | +1.02 | 62 | 66 |
| #3 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | +0.17 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | +0.01 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | atikin | -0.07 | 79 | 72 |





