








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 940 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 552 matches | ||
| Faceit | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 251 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11665 | 25% |
| Smokes | 10116 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 13081 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 11040 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,607,146 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | 67% | 109 |
| #2 | sedi `8) | 59% | 176 |
| #3 | KissenKarl | 58% | 77 |
| #4 | GoLD | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | brundle q:) | 55% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BSAFE | 54% | 443 |
| #7 | stuNt ,('U'), | 52% | 154 |
| #8 | xeniken | 52% | 93 |
| #9 | ZcL | 51% | 95 |
| #10 | kodi | 45% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | 13 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | stuNt ,('U'), | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | sedi `8) | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | brundle q:) | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | 1220 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | brundle q:) | 574 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | xeniken | 567 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #4 | stuNt ,('U'), | 466 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | 421 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | +3.36 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | sedi `8) | +2.47 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | KissenKarl | +0.62 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | xake | +0.48 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | +0.39 | 82 | 64 |





