








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8211 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8266 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6626 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5059 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,002 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLx | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | KissenKarl | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | JSonderchild | 49% | 243 |
| #4 | SADm | 48% | 149 |
| #5 | da_Chris | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SADm | 48% | 149 |
| #5 | da_Chris | 47% | 121 |
| #6 | chA1nzz | 46% | 153 |
| #7 | jzN | 44% | 75 |
| #8 | Freydner | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | da_Chris | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | JSonderchild | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | chA1nzz | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | SADm | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | aLx | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SADm | 458 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | JSonderchild | 456 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | chA1nzz | 446 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | KissenKarl | 254 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #5 | aLx | 252 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzN | +2.31 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Freydner | +2.26 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | JSonderchild | +1.57 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | +1.21 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | aLx | +0.97 | 74 | 74 |





