








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 889 | 25% |
| Smokes | 829 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,187 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xanman | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | drachen | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | head-to-toe bootleg gucci | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Kohnert | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | adam | 53% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | i dunno man you do you | 50% | 82 |
| #10 | Slappy | 49% | 59 |
| #11 | in range | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | leehuffman | 36% | 59 |
| #13 | nux | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mosh | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | adam | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Xanman | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | i dunno man you do you | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Slappy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i dunno man you do you | 367 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | adam | 204 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | mosh | 149 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | leehuffman | 109 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | chase | 87 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kohnert | +4.02 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | i dunno man you do you | +1.70 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Xanman | +1.61 | 91 | 15 |
| #4 | adam | +1.44 | 46 | 70 |
| #5 | chase | +1.35 | 77 | 72 |





