








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,054 | |
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3304 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3797 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4516 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,446,184 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pakkis | 66% | 106 |
| #2 | TESLA©OIL | 66% | 85 |
| #3 | profane | 56% | 104 |
| #4 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | 54% | 227 |
| #5 | ThNdz | 52% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThNdz | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | profane | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | miroq+ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Pakkis | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThNdz | 1194 | 0.21 | 34 min |
| #2 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | 640 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | TESLA©OIL | 335 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | profane | 327 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | miroq+ | 170 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larre | +1.78 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | Pakkis | +1.59 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | tosis | +0.53 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | +0.41 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | TESLA©OIL | -0.10 | 59 | 75 |





