








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 516 matches | ||
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Esplay | 33 matches | 1,924 | |
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 71,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16188 | 23% |
| Smokes | 21388 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 19888 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 13802 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,745,556 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | 51% | 202 |
| #8 | miroq+ | 50% | 141 |
| #9 | Pakkis | 50% | 314 |
| #10 | Bamsuli | 46% | 63 |
| #11 | Scorbutus | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | larre | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | profane | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Pakkis | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | miroq+ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | YoungRooster | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TESLA©OIL | 1161 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | profane | 1047 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #3 | NATO ♿ DOG :dd | 575 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | miroq+ | 554 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #5 | Pakkis | 552 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bamsuli | +2.23 | 57 | 78 |
| #2 | larre | +1.83 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | DiuzEr | +1.82 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Pakkis | +1.41 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | TESLA©OIL | +0.74 | 60 | 78 |





