








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2207 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3567 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2132 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,594,742 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K-L0W | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Mustafa Yusuf | 52% | 61 |
| #3 | Der Anker | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | Pegasus | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | Dawner. | 45% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KlutchR ™ | 43% | 28 |
| #9 | Hjalmar the Blind Man | 43% | 40 |
| #10 | ⚡M1LLER | 40% | 42 |
| #11 | sabr | 35% | 26 |
| #12 | ZipperedFrog | 29% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡M1LLER | 9 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | ZipperedFrog | 6 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Dawner. | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Mustafa Yusuf | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Zinni | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Anker | 223 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mustafa Yusuf | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | ⚡M1LLER | 148 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hjalmar the Blind Man | 144 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dawner. | 129 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K-L0W | +2.76 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | KlutchR ™ | +2.64 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Mustafa Yusuf | +2.56 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | Pegasus | +1.45 | 43 | 40 |
| #5 | Zeneth | +0.86 | 39 | 55 |





