








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,483 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4302 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4714 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3822 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3744 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,398 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β§ β οΈ The_Darkness β β§ | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Jaffe | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | eLoN mOiSt | 59% | 39 |
| #4 | βͺ mtrL βͺ -:- | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | β―ππππ¦πβ― | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Flopsi | 47% | 30 |
| #9 | βͺ Eddie | 46% | 37 |
| #10 | sjappalol | 41% | 54 |
| #11 | βJoanitoβ | 41% | 54 |
| #12 | βͺ steffmeisteren | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βJoanitoβ | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | βͺ steffmeisteren | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | β§ β οΈ The_Darkness β β§ | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | sjappalol | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | βͺ Eddie | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ steffmeisteren | 177 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | βJoanitoβ | 170 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | βͺ Eddie | 147 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | β§ β οΈ The_Darkness β β§ | 134 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | zb0t | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ Eddie | +3.76 | 45 | 74 |
| #2 | βJoanitoβ | +3.20 | 82 | 38 |
| #3 | βͺ steffmeisteren | +2.83 | 40 | 69 |
| #4 | β―ππππ¦πβ― | +1.83 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | Jaffe | +1.74 | 54 | 77 |





