








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1002 matches | ||
| Esplay | 264 matches | 1,566 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10758 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8713 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 14761 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 7916 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,995,512 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☺sURz | 54% | 151 |
| #2 | T_nublol | 53% | 99 |
| #3 | OK | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | ✪ Eddie | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Grandmaster Smoke | 46% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☺sURz | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ✪ Eddie | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Tracka | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | T_nublol | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | OK | 3 | 0.0010 |





