










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1156 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1618 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1164 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1116 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,171 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nessiboi | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | chrille | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | wirrep | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | ses | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | adamsmithbrno | 51% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | adamsmithbrno | 51% | 75 |
| #6 | Stinkvard | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | retro_rp1 | 44% | 100 |
| #8 | Linkan | 42% | 57 |
| #9 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linkan | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Stinkvard | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Nessiboi | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | retro_rp1 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retro_rp1 | 344 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | adamsmithbrno | 262 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | ses | 98 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stinkvard | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ses | +3.16 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Stinkvard | +2.70 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | adamsmithbrno | +1.41 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Nessiboi | +1.08 | 57 | 61 |
| #5 | Chubby Guerrero!!! | +0.68 | 48 | 53 |





