








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1091 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6522 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4010 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2241 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4069 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,819 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Cal | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | ❥ Molly | 69% | 54 |
| #3 | NatashaReid | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | CALZOR+} | 60% | 105 |
| #5 | ReleNtless1g | 59% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ReleNtless1g | 59% | 290 |
| #6 | jai | 58% | 48 |
| #7 | Floody | 55% | 157 |
| #8 | Doddzy | 52% | 165 |
| #9 | Icebox | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReleNtless1g | 28 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Floody | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | CALZOR+} | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Doddzy | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | jai | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReleNtless1g | 1834 | 0.31 | 51 min |
| #2 | Floody | 245 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | jai | 154 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | CALZOR+} | 142 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Icebox | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReleNtless1g | +4.37 | 86 | 83 |
| #2 | Danny | +2.20 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | CALZOR+} | +0.94 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | jai | +0.82 | 71 | 72 |
| #5 | ✪ Cal | +0.21 | 65 | 56 |





