








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 25% |
| Smokes | 466 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 619 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,454 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RicKuRuKuS | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | vibzi | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Breezy | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | SNORESSS | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Tumnis | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SNORESSS | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Tumnis | 55% | 47 |
| #6 | Dr_Stingy | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | Ambrosius | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | norepinephrinaut | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tumnis | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | SNORESSS | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Breezy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dr_Stingy | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tumnis | 192 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | SNORESSS | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Breezy | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | vibzi | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dr_Stingy | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ambrosius | +2.85 | 78 | 38 |
| #2 | SNORESSS | +2.36 | 80 | 76 |
| #3 | Breezy | +1.02 | 62 | 71 |
| #4 | nvrx | +0.90 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | Tumnis | +0.24 | 58 | 73 |





