








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4186 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5178 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2740 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3673 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,039 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nvrx | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | RicKuRuKuS | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | SNORESSS | 56% | 64 |
| #4 | Tumnis | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | Dr_Stingy | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | woodZ | 46% | 94 |
| #9 | LamB | 44% | 66 |
| #10 | Sage | 41% | 29 |
| #11 | bEAN | 34% | 47 |
| #12 | SourJack | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr_Stingy | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | vibzi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SNORESSS | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | woodZ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | RicKuRuKuS | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LamB | 300 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tumnis | 296 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | woodZ | 267 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | SNORESSS | 203 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | RicKuRuKuS | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SNORESSS | +2.24 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | nvrx | +1.14 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | woodZ | +1.14 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | Sage | +1.07 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | Breezy | +1.02 | 66 | 64 |





