








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7104 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6743 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6923 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5177 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,206,221 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pot of Greed | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | крокодил | 51% | 86 |
| #3 | jamesy 4.0 | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | jakeapotamus | 46% | 249 |
| #5 | EnigmaRB6 | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jakeapotamus | 46% | 249 |
| #5 | EnigmaRB6 | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | Gimme a Snax | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | Closer | 38% | 95 |
| #8 | Cheese | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pot of Greed | 25 | 0.0316 |
| #2 | jakeapotamus | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Gimme a Snax | 14 | 0.0208 |
| #4 | Closer | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | крокодил | 8 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakeapotamus | 625 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Closer | 207 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pot of Greed | 198 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | крокодил | 178 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | jamesy 4.0 | 171 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamesy 4.0 | +4.78 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Pot of Greed | +3.90 | 83 | 82 |
| #3 | Gimme a Snax | +3.15 | 79 | 80 |
| #4 | крокодил | +2.56 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | Closer | +0.35 | 61 | 62 |





