








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5329 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6285 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4055 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3990 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,675,487 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyNameJeff | 67% | 101 |
| #2 | Toxy | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | Closer | 62% | 71 |
| #4 | крокодил | 57% | 268 |
| #5 | NohVoha | 57% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | крокодил | 57% | 268 |
| #5 | NohVoha | 57% | 83 |
| #6 | HT | PThirteen | 55% | 47 |
| #7 | jakeapotamus | 53% | 386 |
| #8 | GwaiLo | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyNameJeff | 16 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | jakeapotamus | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | крокодил | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Closer | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Toxy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakeapotamus | 981 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #2 | крокодил | 674 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | MyNameJeff | 390 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | NohVoha | 215 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | HT | PThirteen | 164 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamesy 4.0 | +3.24 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | HT | PThirteen | +1.79 | 79 | 75 |
| #3 | Toxy | +1.25 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | MyNameJeff | +1.10 | 80 | 80 |
| #5 | крокодил | +1.03 | 68 | 61 |





