








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6232 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7201 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8590 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3793 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,480,164 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NohVoha | 62% | 119 |
| #2 | MyNameJeff | 59% | 181 |
| #3 | Toxy | 58% | 129 |
| #4 | Closer | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | jamesy 4.0 | 57% | 268 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jamesy 4.0 | 57% | 268 |
| #6 | jakeapotamus | 54% | 554 |
| #7 | Lugia is Legit | 52% | 134 |
| #8 | GwaiLo | 51% | 86 |
| #9 | Klepto | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyNameJeff | 35 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | jakeapotamus | 29 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | jamesy 4.0 | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | NohVoha | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Toxy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakeapotamus | 1300 | 0.12 | 36 min |
| #2 | jamesy 4.0 | 738 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | MyNameJeff | 607 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #4 | NohVoha | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Toxy | 291 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamesy 4.0 | +2.93 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Toxy | +1.97 | 61 | 58 |
| #3 | крокодил | +1.76 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | NohVoha | +1.51 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | MyNameJeff | +0.88 | 79 | 79 |





