








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2375 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2392 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2684 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,402 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeyDunkz | 53% | 120 |
| #2 | faux | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | skews | 51% | 190 |
| #4 | rekrowthgil | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | tapdatass | 49% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | skews | 51% | 190 |
| #4 | rekrowthgil | 50% | 157 |
| #5 | tapdatass | 49% | 173 |
| #6 | Megaman | 46% | 108 |
| #7 | ikkon | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Megaman | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | tapdatass | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | rekrowthgil | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ikkon | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | skews | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skews | 861 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | tapdatass | 422 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | MikeyDunkz | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | rekrowthgil | 265 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | Megaman | 212 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rekrowthgil | +2.91 | 71 | 71 |
| #2 | ikkon | +1.20 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | MikeyDunkz | +0.55 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | tapdatass | -0.42 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | skews | -0.50 | 62 | 82 |





