








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 440 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 153 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5987 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5955 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8497 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7700 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,180 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikkon | 56% | 108 |
| #2 | hoaX** | 56% | 96 |
| #3 | ✪k0z1y | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | Miggie | 53% | 120 |
| #5 | skews | 52% | 459 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | skews | 52% | 459 |
| #6 | rekrowthgil | 51% | 209 |
| #7 | Megaman | 51% | 129 |
| #8 | tapdatass | 49% | 257 |
| #9 | faux | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Megaman | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | skews | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | tapdatass | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | hoaX** | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | rekrowthgil | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skews | 2035 | 0.20 | 62 min |
| #2 | tapdatass | 611 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | rekrowthgil | 343 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ikkon | 294 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Miggie | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rekrowthgil | +2.49 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | ikkon | +2.18 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | MikeyDunkz | +0.32 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | skews | +0.08 | 64 | 80 |
| #5 | hoaX** | -0.06 | 48 | 65 |





