








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1344 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1697 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3768 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2422 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,538 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Betsijumala | 96% | 27 |
| #2 | mArkKu | 85% | 73 |
| #3 | keilakki | 82% | 173 |
| #4 | ose | 80% | 204 |
| #5 | tinnepapi | 78% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keilakki | 587 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | ose | 508 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | tinnepapi | 351 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 245 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | szurasd | 207 | 0.16 | 5 min |





