








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 91 matches | ||
| Renown | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13517 | 26% |
| Smokes | 14565 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12586 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12094 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,606 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1574 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dasd | 80% | 204 |
| #2 | Betsijumala | 80% | 112 |
| #3 | keilakki | 80% | 834 |
| #4 | mArkKu | 80% | 744 |
| #5 | szurasd | 78% | 600 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tinnepapi | 38 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | mArkKu | 28 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | szurasd | 27 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | dasd | 26 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 19 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keilakki | 2714 | 0.18 | 82 min |
| #2 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 2145 | 0.16 | 68 min |
| #3 | szurasd | 1692 | 0.16 | 46 min |
| #4 | mArkKu | 1682 | 0.13 | 45 min |
| #5 | tinnepapi | 1358 | 0.08 | 28 min |





