








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2676 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1845 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1304 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,253 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | æksjN | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | ekkelt | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | zyntha=) | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | R0ME | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | enox | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | criscros | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | ChuWuepz | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | tiikeri | 33% | 12 |
| #13 | møkern | 25% | 8 |
| #14 | Somnax_ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oNLY- | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | møkern | 2 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | R0ME | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | criscros | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | zyntha=) | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orakadpung | 175 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | R0ME | 128 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | oNLY- | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | zyntha=) | 103 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | criscros | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oNLY- | +4.06 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | æksjN | +3.41 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | orakadpung | +2.93 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | zyntha=) | +2.65 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | enox | +1.45 | 76 | 76 |





