








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1339 | 32% |
| Smokes | 974 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1021 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 836 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,539 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ban ends: 06 Feb 2023 | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | maradona10x | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | M1LNESS | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | NESTAČILO ENJOYER | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Left boob | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NESTAČILO ENJOYER | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Ban ends: 06 Feb 2023 | 4 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | M1LNESS | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | kosto | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Left boob | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NESTAČILO ENJOYER | 124 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | M1LNESS | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ban ends: 06 Feb 2023 | 50 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | kosto | 42 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Left boob | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NESTAČILO ENJOYER | +4.37 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | maradona10x | +4.00 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | slim shady | +2.64 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | Ban ends: 06 Feb 2023 | +2.09 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | M1LNESS | +1.77 | 82 | 60 |





