








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1719 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1775 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1868 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1743 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,170 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | TommyP123 | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | MilkyJoe | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Conner ツ | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | jack | 53% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | アンディ | 50% | 84 |
| #9 | MurDoC | 47% | 73 |
| #10 | #ReTiReD | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | jmv | 42% | 85 |
| #12 | Robbie Rotten | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elmod | 17 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | jack | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | MurDoC | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | jmv | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | berf | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jack | 720 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #2 | elmod | 465 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | jmv | 392 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #4 | MurDoC | 387 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | Conner ツ | 169 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyP123 | +2.38 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | Panda | +2.20 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Conner ツ | +1.46 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | jack | +1.45 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | jmv | +1.29 | 57 | 74 |





