








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1008 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 186 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8874 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9435 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7590 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6083 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,299,433 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZacK...Tod ٩(××)۶ | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | Rey Mysterio ™ | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | Demmi | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | TubeYou | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | bantumi | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris | 20 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Sl3Dge98 DiNase | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | s a n s e ☁ | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | TubeYou | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | xelfeR | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl3Dge98 DiNase | 870 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | s a n s e ☁ | 557 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Demmi | 529 | 0.43 | 17 min |
| #4 | Chris | 358 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | TubeYou | 211 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TubeYou | +2.83 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Demmi | +1.97 | 66 | 85 |
| #3 | xelfeR | +1.57 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Sl3Dge98 DiNase | +1.14 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | Anubis | +0.43 | 75 | 59 |





