








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7552 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6272 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8452 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6956 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,032,765 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl3Dge98 DiNase | 1737 | 0.15 | 41 min |
| #2 | s a n s e ☁ | 1246 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #3 | ↫︎Easy_Muffins↬ | 613 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | Demmi | 558 | 0.40 | 18 min |
| #5 | Soulz | 278 | 0.16 | 6 min |





