








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 745 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4208 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5042 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6145 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5962 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,771 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criz | 75% | 121 |
| #2 | mnK .^.' | 72% | 32 |
| #3 | G0rt1xs | 71% | 84 |
| #4 | becx. | 67% | 228 |
| #5 | Manning | 65% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nacho | 60% | 235 |
| #9 | C-man395 セドリック | 59% | 188 |
| #10 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 56% | 204 |
| #11 | RisQz ♛ | 47% | 34 |
| #12 | ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ⒷⒶⓈⒸⒽⒾ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | C-man395 セドリック | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Nacho | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | becx. | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Manning | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 1481 | 0.25 | 40 min |
| #2 | Nacho | 786 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 616 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | Manning | 463 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | becx. | 450 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0Rn | +3.95 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Ashton Clutcher | +1.72 | 51 | 72 |
| #3 | mnK .^.' | +0.66 | 55 | 65 |
| #4 | becx. | +0.25 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | criz | +0.14 | 71 | 64 |





