








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2487 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2730 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2454 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2225 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,308 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criz | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | G0rt1xs | 67% | 81 |
| #3 | leadx_ | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | c0sy- | 60% | 48 |
| #5 | Qu | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Manning | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | Nacho | 54% | 99 |
| #13 | becx. | 53% | 53 |
| #14 | C-man395 セドリック | 44% | 70 |
| #15 | RisQz ♛ | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | C-man395 セドリック | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Manning | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Nacho | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ⒷⒶⓈⒸⒽⒾ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 707 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | k0Rn | 453 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nacho | 365 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | c0sy- | 180 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ⒷⒶⓈⒸⒽⒾ | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0Rn | +3.56 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Zyntaq | +1.96 | 65 | 57 |
| #3 | Ashton Clutcher | +1.93 | 52 | 72 |
| #4 | criz | +1.52 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ⒷⒶⓈⒸⒽⒾ | +0.74 | 64 | 67 |





