








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1632 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2739 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2717 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2175 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,864 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mnK .^.' | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | criz | 79% | 76 |
| #3 | Ashton Clutcher | 71% | 113 |
| #4 | G0rt1xs | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | Manning | 70% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | k0Rn | 67% | 228 |
| #7 | Nacho | 64% | 88 |
| #8 | c0sy- | 61% | 33 |
| #9 | C-man395 セドリック | 60% | 87 |
| #10 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manning | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | C-man395 セドリック | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Ashton Clutcher | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | k0Rn | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Nacho | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton Clutcher | 634 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | k0Rn | 451 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nacho | 311 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Manning | 311 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | criz | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0Rn | +3.95 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | Ashton Clutcher | +2.11 | 51 | 73 |
| #3 | Manning | +0.84 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | becx. | +0.63 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | mnK .^.' | +0.44 | 57 | 66 |





