








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6002 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5352 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3487 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3239 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,247 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mnK .^.' | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | G0rt1xs | 73% | 40 |
| #3 | becx. | 71% | 113 |
| #4 | a7enue-.- | 70% | 27 |
| #5 | criz | 70% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Nacho | 60% | 171 |
| #10 | c0sy- | 58% | 57 |
| #11 | Manning | 57% | 83 |
| #12 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 56% | 127 |
| #13 | leadx_ | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manning | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Nacho | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | C-man395 セドリック | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | c0sy- | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | k0Rn | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0Rn | 591 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nacho | 557 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | SilentF666[IGL From HELL] | 405 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Manning | 284 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | becx. | 246 | 0.10 | 4 min |





