








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7787 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6621 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6268 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4460 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,673,128 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feather | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | DerDude | 51% | 117 |
| #3 | BenHaschisch | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | Ludo | 48% | 106 |
| #5 | yoganilpferd | 45% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | yoganilpferd | 45% | 150 |
| #6 | Boba und Tino ❤ | 44% | 55 |
| #7 | Fire | 41% | 107 |
| #8 | Krulle | 37% | 49 |
| #9 | jojo wan Kenobi | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoganilpferd | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Ludo | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | DerDude | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Krulle | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Fire | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDude | 521 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | yoganilpferd | 429 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Fire | 297 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Krulle | 288 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ludo | 170 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerDude | +1.96 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Janse | +0.32 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | BenHaschisch | +0.28 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | yoganilpferd | -0.07 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | Boba und Tino ❤ | -0.51 | 27 | 67 |





