








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,654 | |
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1248 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1248 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,538 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMMa Karlsson | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | discokjelle | 69% | 52 |
| #3 | eskill | 63% | 81 |
| #4 | Drlller | 58% | 60 |
| #5 | M_Iceman ~c'> ? | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | M_Iceman ~c'> ? | 58% | 45 |
| #6 | almefjord | 57% | 37 |
| #7 | NIGHTDOG | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | WozzeC | 54% | 92 |
| #9 | Bulk Hogan | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drlller | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | almefjord | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | WozzeC | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | discokjelle | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | eMMa Karlsson | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WozzeC | 276 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | M_Iceman ~c'> ? | 198 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | discokjelle | 164 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | almefjord | 137 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | eskill | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WozzeC | +2.97 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | eMMa Karlsson | +2.50 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | discokjelle | +2.12 | 66 | 76 |
| #4 | almefjord | +1.47 | 78 | 82 |
| #5 | Husssar | +0.67 | 73 | 64 |





