








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,559 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2229 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2390 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2208 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,003 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Husssar | 63% | 81 |
| #2 | almefjord | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | discokjelle | 60% | 40 |
| #4 | Denka | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | M_Iceman ~c'> ? | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | WozzeC | 49% | 120 |
| #10 | Kamikaze | 49% | 92 |
| #11 | NIGHTDOG | 48% | 60 |
| #12 | ☠нєииσĸs☠ | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | Dilligaf | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dilligaf | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | NIGHTDOG | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kamikaze | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Drlller | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | WozzeC | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WozzeC | 357 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | M_Iceman ~c'> ? | 273 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | eMMa Karlsson | 233 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kamikaze | 196 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Husssar | 193 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WozzeC | +2.65 | 66 | 73 |
| #2 | Denka | +2.40 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | discokjelle | +2.35 | 68 | 79 |
| #4 | eMMa Karlsson | +1.23 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | Husssar | +1.19 | 76 | 66 |





