








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 623 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4536 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4675 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5746 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4555 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,423,273 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansapils | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | FaWo | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | xake | 60% | 58 |
| #4 | brundle q:) | 59% | 98 |
| #5 | BSAFE | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | gladi xD | 46% | 174 |
| #14 | famke | 46% | 212 |
| #15 | MRVNNN | 45% | 38 |
| #16 | stinkwer?Oo | 43% | 54 |
| #17 | ayz | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | CHri$ | 15 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | famke | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | FataL | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | gladi xD | 8 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gladi xD | 874 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | FataL | 702 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 603 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | brundle q:) | 341 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | famke | 330 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FataL | +4.02 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | BSAFE | +2.67 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | Hansapils | +1.96 | 52 | 76 |
| #4 | se0rFPS | +1.33 | 74 | 73 |
| #5 | FaWo | +1.14 | 61 | 61 |





