








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4561 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4500 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4054 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2884 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,330 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D I D I | 67% | 111 |
| #2 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | kodi | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | BSAFE | 60% | 87 |
| #5 | rico | 59% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rico | 59% | 98 |
| #6 | sedi `8) | 56% | 73 |
| #7 | xake | 55% | 143 |
| #8 | stuNt ,('U'), | 52% | 42 |
| #9 | m1chi | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xake | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | D I D I | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | rico | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | BSAFE | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | sedi `8) | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xake | 369 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | rico | 315 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | BSAFE | 244 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | 我們何時開始作弊者大 | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | stuNt ,('U'), | 147 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BSAFE | +3.22 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | sedi `8) | +1.85 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | D I D I | +0.43 | 51 | 58 |
| #4 | brundle q:) | +0.16 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | stuNt ,('U'), | -0.08 | 82 | 68 |





