








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1832 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,662 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | at4 | 49% | 47 |
| #13 | pLx | 40% | 35 |
| #14 | Shane ㋛ | 38% | 37 |
| #15 | nope | 36% | 25 |
| #16 | BmD | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush it to the limit' | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Fudge | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | at4 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Shane ㋛ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | pentaw1nz | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fudge | 155 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kush it to the limit' | 153 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shane ㋛ | 131 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ikey | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | pentaw1nz | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1tcheD | +2.62 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | at4 | +2.14 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | Shane ㋛ | +1.86 | 80 | 78 |
| #4 | Ikey | +1.59 | 72 | 72 |
| #5 | Perfection | +1.45 | 74 | 63 |





