








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 209 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3219 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5467 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3622 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4117 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,770,264 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | at4 | 48% | 83 |
| #14 | nope | 44% | 100 |
| #15 | fallenn | 44% | 98 |
| #16 | Ronnie Burns | 43% | 84 |
| #17 | Kush it to the limit' | 39% | 44 |





