










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 27% |
| Smokes | 294 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 189 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,100 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | me1str | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Mr.Nielsen | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | MacDaddy | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | < blank > | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | Rabbagazza | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Missalot | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rabbagazza | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | me1str | 15 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Meistr | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | +2.83 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | pi3 | +1.45 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | Mr.Nielsen | +1.03 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | MacDaddy | +0.73 | 41 | 78 |
| #5 | Rabbagazza | +0.06 | 44 | 78 |





